3 Maneuvers to Combat Personal Stupid
Wow. Sometimes you do it. You know the kind of stupid that is “personal stupid”? It’s the kind that no one knows about. No one shares it with you. And you have no desire to share it, besides a vague confession such as this one. And the older you get, you wonder when you will stop making that stupid choice.
Yeah. So, that’s what I did recently. And the funny thing about it is, I could have cut it short too. But I didn’t, somehow ignoring that I am in charge & could stop filming. It was like one of those blasts from the past. One of those situations where you figure, “What the hell? I’ll play it out to FULLY remind myself just why I erased this from memory before.”
I argued that this was partly it… that having been erased for so long, that was the reason … I had forgotten the detour route. And believe me. I really tried not to over think it. After all “been there, done that”.
All the same, it must be admitted that I am not the same. This stupidity was a component of a different, a past me. So in fairness, that makes it a little more “alright”. I guess. Feels better to see it that way anyway.
From the words of Henry Ford, let us be reminded,
“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”
Thus for this experience to not be worthless and regretful, the following are 3 steps to recover from some of your best stupid.
1) Decide that revisiting lessons from the past are perhaps more valuable than ever before. As mentioned, you are not the same person. Even if it’s such a habitual act that you just did it yesterday, you are changing.
I am deciding what exactly that change consist of & to what degree. Most importantly, I am deciding to learn from it, to INCREASE that change.
2) Forgive yourself. It does not mean it is okay to repeat the stupidity. Note too though, lamenting requires focus that starves the energy required for moving on. Forgiving yourself opens you to receiving the lesson with clarity & real benefit.
I forgive myself because I want to understand what lingering crap helped me make a foolish (previously discarded option) decision.
3) Determine what you are getting out of it. 99.999 percent of the time, we do what we do for a reason. A sound or fairly sound state of mind does not do things arbitrarily. Repeating a mistake satisfies something within (even if one from a self 15 years my junior). Investigate just what that is. Bring the boogie man into the light!
I know what it was. I know why I did it. I was ashamed. Now I am humbled. I was weak and I was human. (Now, repeat step 2, then 1.)
A coda has come about since a few days have passed from write to edit. It is this: While it still falls under the category that it did, this “event” was quite profound. It told me, as in a reflection, clearly where I am on the topic. Sometimes we think we know where we are or just choose not to look (as in my case).
Yes, this share is extremely vague, but if you have a “stupid” thing you did (or do repeatedly) it will make sense when applied. That’s the elegance of how aspects of Being (behavior, thinking & acting/ not acting) carry the same simple “rules”/ flow/ “rightness”.
The point is, if you can easily admit a choice you made was salient enough to be classified as “stupid”, you can be sure a mirror has been held before your eyes. Will you peer into the image & regard it with equal significance?
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